smileys.

was in a horrible mood last night.

i received news on what im not supposed to know.

seriously, i regret knowing it. really.

i feel bad inside out.

and i cried all night until i fell asleep.

i've wish i didnt know about.

cause i really didnt wanna know anything.

somethings are best left unsaid?

sigh. im beginning to feel my tears building up again. T.T

i told dardar that i've cried.

he told me one simple method to cheer up.

and it worked. =DD

im beginning to realised that quite alot of people know who is my dardar.

it's like ... around 8? sigh.

so many people.. lols.

today, we were slacking through out.

and there were no aces day work out.

and we had durians.

valerie and crystal didnt like the smell of durians.

but we didnt care.

poor things.

i can understand how smelly durians can get.

sigh.

ohhs. we were having a bra-colour guessing contest in the toilet.

cause the shirt is white,

so you can see what colour everybody was wearing. XD

xq, val and hassy's were obvious.

val had nike tick,

xq wore bright blue,

hassy wore HOT PINK.

woots!

okays... i think i should stop on the bra thing.

if not, alot of people will come after me. =X

i think im in LOVE!

woots.

okays, im lame.

dardar, im proud to say im with you just like what you do.

ps. you will grow taller, i promise.

LOVE.

ps. petrina, im sorry i didnt go for your performance,

i couldnt go as it ends too late.

sorry.

Read more...

a day.

sigh. i've been on a diet for the past few weeks.

and it has been quite successful..

until today. T.T

celebrated my cousin's birthday.

we bought pizza hut, kfc, sushi, hor fun and fried rice.

and i was told to eat abit of everything.

and yes, i did.

im so bloated now that i can puke. T.T

i wanna cry.

it's like.. all the effort all gone down to the drain.

i've gained 1+kg by celebrating my cousin's birthday.

im upset. sigh.

it's so hard to lose that few kg,

but it's so freaking easy to gain it.

dardar, i need your shoulder.. T.T

sigh.

today, i had breakfast with dardar before choir.

it was kinda .. how do i put it?

ehhs. shy?

hums.

akward?

hahahas.

it was the first time we were out alone.

so.. ehhs. very gan ga lahs.

but i feel very blessed to have him around.

thanks dardar.

chatted with dardar on ebuddy today.

it was my first time using ebuddy.

COOL. but wasted alot of dardar's time..

cause i didnt know how to use it. XD

sorry dardar.

gor know who is my dardar le.

cause he told me he's and forced me to tell him mine.

then, he was giving me that look.

yahs, i've gotten a CUTE dardar.

cannot ar? hahas.

gor, are you JEALOUS??? XD

sigh.

gor made me did a very serious and upsetting decision.

he asked me; who is more important?

your dardar or me? [me = gor]

sigh.

dont want to tell you who i've chose.

secret. =DD

choir.. ahhhs.

i've got suan-ed by mr liew.

i breathe at wrong part.

forgot mahs.

then he say only those whose english very horrible then will break up the words.

T.T

so ma lu.

hahahas. but i had fun.

at least he did it in a happy mood,

and not fierce scoldings. =DD

ehhs. during choir, wenxiang kept looking at me and dardar.

yahs, i was looking at dardar.

cannot ar?

hahahahahas.

wenxiang better not spread..

if not, i dont friend him le.

HAHAHAs.

hey, i think dardar's childish-ness really spread and psycho my brain le.

XD

guess what?

i've nearly passed my amaths re-retest.

i'll be going for re-re-retest then.

HAHAHAs.

what the.. like missed by 3 marks lo...

then the recent amaths test ...

i also never pass. T.T

sigh.

BY THE WAY, AKMAL TALKS ALOT IN MSN!!!!

he is like zj or something.

real life is quiet quiet one ..

then msn can talk freely.

AKMAL, remember to talk more in class,

if i have to give you individual lessons personally to make you talk more,

i will. XD

* From the moment I met you

I just knew you'd be mine

You touched my hand

And I knew that this was gonna be our time

I don't ever wanna lose this feeling

I don't wanna spend a moment apart

* 'Cos you bring out the best in me,

like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side,

and that's why I love you

* Every day that I'm here with you

I know that it feels right

And I've just got to be near you

every day and every night

And you know that we belong together

It just had to be you and me

* 'Cos you bring out the best in me,
like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side,
and that's why I love you

* And you know that we belong together,

It just had to be you and me

* 'Cos you bring out the best in me,

like no-one else can do

That's why I'm by your side,

and that's why I love you

'Cos you bring out the best in me,
like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side,
and that's why I love you

[best in me by blue]

i miss my dardar. <3

Read more...

=D

hey, didnt get to use the computer yesterday.

but, im here today.

good enough?

hums.

yesterday, i was planning to go for drama instead of choir.

shocking? yeah.

i dont like to skipp my choir practices for drama.

cause it's unfair.

and i dont wish to get scolding from mr liew.

however, i was so fed up with jayhan and arvin's disrespect-ness,

i've decided to go for choir instead.

the performance me and donavan was supposed to do was replaced.

im rather more relieved to hear that.

i can finally have a good night rest.

hahas.

had back my chinese test..

i've passed. woohoo.

chong ee and i had the highest in our special class. woos.

ehhs. today, i had english and physics test.

i think i'll fail badly for both the papers.

sigh.

head for science center after physics lesson end.

we slack all the way.

ohh. we were late for the performance thing.

we went in for about 15mins and it end.

lame.

then we had a fun time eating ....

by the way, TODAY IS HASSY's BIRTHDAY!!!!

made her a birthday card.

sigh. it was in a mess.

but i think hassy will understand ... dont you?

hums.

met dardar many times today.

im so happy. XD

gosh.

i think im beginning to behave like a young kidd.

hehehes. dardar spread his childish-ness to me le. XD

ehhs. after the trip, i head off the cp to meet donavan and michelle.

it was regrading mr liew's teachers' day present.

donavan made the stuffs.

it was cool, and beautiful.

i think it will look nice with my name on it.

*hint hint*

*break into laughters*

kidding lahs.

today, i kept complaining to donavan.

"i miss my dardar", was the line i said most today.

and donavan had a tough time guessing who it was.

i told dardar, he said let him continue guessing. XD

going to have breakfast with dardar. woots!

ps. my dardar is CHILDISH.

my dardar is CUTE.

my dardar is SWEET.

my dardar is a GOOD kidd, just like me.

my dardar fell sick.

hope he will get well soon.

i miss my dardar badly.

Read more...

thoughts?

hey, im in quite a good mood.

im listening to geek in the pink now.

ehhs. then again ...

im worried.

what if on the day itself,

i cannot sing?

what if on the day itself,

i went out of tune?

what if on the day itself,

i do something stupid like burping while holding the mic?

what if on the day itself,

i forget the lyrics?

what if on the day itself,

we have to stand on the stage and sing?

what if on the day itself,

i fall down on the stage?

what if, what if..

i have been wondering the same few questions for the past few days.

that darn few questions make me lose my sleep.

i worried.

what should i do?

dardar says he will support me.

but im still very scared. T.T

have not touch any homework.

im too worried about the teachers' day performance.

dardar, im scared.. T.T

sigh.

btw, i dont intend to do homework le.

sigh.

i wanna chiong the song.

must make sure i memories the song.

T.T

wish me luck.

i love dardar. XD

Read more...

TODAY.

slept late last night.

but still had to wake up early today.

then i head school for the NE seminar.

in the seminar, saw some familiar face like xingzhong they all.

then we chatted, played and smsed duringt eh seminar.

hahas.

and then, there was this guy who kept "ermm-ing" ..

they we counted how many times he did that.

was like, over 100....

hahahahas.

then after the seminar,

we realised quite alot of us won the quiz thingy.

took the prize,

then waiihoong, heng tiong and i head cp for late breakfast.

=DD

then yeah, we headed home.

waiihoong ask me go play back gunbound.

hahahahas.

lost my id le.

so he said make mamabasket,

cause he is flamingbasket.

lalalas.

cursing ourselves.

lamebird.

done.

i had finally gotten my hugg. thanks DARLING.

Read more...

YESTERDAY.

yesterday was a very happy day for me. =DD

i went for a concert which was so damn freaking COOL!!!

wait, let me start with drama stuffs first before i forget about it.

ehhs. guess i still get to perform for teachers' day.

im very worried something might go wrong.

and yes, only yesterday then i realised im gonna perform.

it's gonna be normal drama performance,

then we're having a teachers' day song.

it's gonna be a rap.

the one you hear from the movie, pink panther.

thinking of it now,

i still get very nervous.

especially that, well, im going to hold the mic and rap.

and i have to memories it.

im gonna rap it with donavan.

T.T

but when we tried to rap it.

cannot hear my voice.

only donavan's.

sigh.

dont know why, i get nervous everytime i hold a mic.

stupid, but true.

sigh.

let's hope everything will be alright on the day.

then, the concert.

i reached hougang mall before donavan and daniel.

so i stand there and waited for them. -.-

i saw youhock there too. =DD

then we have our food and stuffs.

then donavan kept teasing me about my shoes.

okay.

i wore something formal.

a matching white shirt with a matching white skirt with a matching white "handbag"..

but i wore black sportshoes.

it's not like i want it or something lo.

my toe wass injured, so the nail came off.

so i had to wear something comfortable and can protect the injury.

of course, sportshoes are the best choice lahs.

RARRs.

stop teasing me.

hahas.

but i had me revenge.

we took the red line.

then took one stop to somerset.

donavan stand directly in front of the door.

then the door closed ...

then it open again.

then daniel and i laugh that he was too fat,

that's why it opened again.

hahas.

but i was meant as a joke,

dont take it to heart, okays? =DD

then met up with the rest.

and waited for a LONG time for chui laam and zuming.

hahahas.

then head there lo.

before heading there,

we had a talk with the taipei choir member.

they were funny.

lalalalas.

then sat with gavan. =DD

nelson kuek was there too.

he performed with one of his choir ...

the taipei choir [special] was amazing.

i meant the one they used the mic and sing that one.

they kinda stle my heart as they sang.

especially the song that was sang quite some time ago..

The Beatles - i want to hold your hand

I'll tell you something

I think you'll understand

When I say that something

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

Oh please say to me

you'll let me be your man

and please say to me

you'll let me hold your hand

Now, let me hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

And when I touch you

I feel happy inside

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide

I can't hide

I can't hide

Yeah, you got that something

I think you'll understand

When I say that something

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

And when I touch you

I feel happy inside

It's such a feeling that my love

I can't hide

I can't hide

I can't hide

Yeah, you got that something

I think you'll understand

When I say that something

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

yes. i loved that song.

after the concert, we went for dinner at orchard there.

not sure where was it.

oilver lead the way de.

hahas.

cause i've always fear of getting lost in crowded places,

someone had to keep a look out for me.

thanks DARLING for being there. =DD

anyway, joon kiat was a good kid,

he went home straight after the supper.

then oliver, gavan and wenxiang walked me home.

but, i made sure they got up the taxi first.

then we said bye and all.

hahas.

then night night lo.

Read more...

empty stomach.

yeah. i admit, im a coward.

i'll break down when i feel the pressure.

i cry easily.

may it be for joy or what so ever.

i can always find a excuse to cry.

when im upset, i'll cry.

when im happy, i'll cry.

when im touched, i'll cry.

when i feel numb, i'll cry.

when im angry, i'll cry.

when i yawn, i'll cry.

when the air-con is too cold or "dry", i'll cry.

and sometimes, i cry for nothing.

i can give a 101 excuse to cry.

believe it, it's true.

during the depression period, i tend to cry myself to sleep.

and at normal times, when i cant get to sleep,

i just have to cry,

then i'll feel so tired, i can get to sleep in just a few minutes.

not a good method, but it works.

sigh.

today, i found someone who, well, feel quite the same as i do at some times.

you know who you are. =DD

hey, let's have depressing lessons together someday. XD

i had chinese test today.

i have no confindent in it.

it's like ... total rubbish..

i've always feel confindent doing compre section.

but today's paper, i dont understand the passage at all.

* RARRs.

nevertheless, i finished the paper leaving only 2 form-a-sentence question.

but, i still know im not gonna pass it.

so, what's the point of me studying ytd and today morning?

wasted my time.

then i had chemistry retest.

it's a obvious FAIL paper.

until now, i still dont know how to balance the equation properly.

* RARRs.

as for tomorrow, i'll be going to singapore power auditorium.

im gonna lead the people who are going with DONAVAN!

guess what?

we dont know how to get there either.

blind leading the blind.

wahahas.

life's tough.

and no matter how tough it gets,

we still have to live on.

let's all enjoy the remaining time we have instead of mourning about it.

ps. im writing this with a empty stomach.

sigh. having gastric too. T.T

may i have a hug now?

Read more...

better off dead.

life's not as fun as it seems to be.

even the sports thing i have always look forward to, wasnt fun.

what's the bloody problem wrong with me?

maybe im really tired.

maybe im just asking too much.

maybe im just starting to fade away.

maybe, maybe..

it's just me being unable to cope with life in the way it is now.

note: how much you want to hide from me, i still know it's you.

horrible people.

horrible teachers.

horrible students.

horrible friends.

horrible timing.

horrible life.

horrible songs.

horrible you.

horrible me.

horrible, everybody.

and that horrible feeling inside of me.

RARRs.

i just dont understand why it all turn out this way.

so many things.. went the wrong way out.

i feel bad inside.

the split personality is calming down.

maybe, it is tired of everything too.

i'll do what i've promised.

i promised to be happy.

i will be happy off dead.

i promised to not get into coma for the experience i always wanted.

i'll die straight away.

i promised to study hard and get at least 3As for this EOY examination,

if not, i'll jump off the building.

i know i cant, so be prepared to see me fall.

i promised to not die in this period of time.
yes, i know. i'll keep it.

i promised to save money up for your birthday present,

yes, that's what i've been doing.

but i've said, i dont plan to live over sec4 period.

and i wont. i will just go off in the mid.

you should know what i meant.

im sick of it.

stupid self sympathy.

but yes, it really does let me feel better writing all out.

i feel better.

better.

better off dead.

i need a hugg badly.

Read more...

self sympathy.

okays. sigh.

i feel upset, man.. sigh.

today, i had amaths test.

it was horrible.

but amazingly, i manage to do a question quite correctly.

and the rest?

total bullshit. sigh

had gotten back physics and emaths test paper.

i failed both.

yes, it's hard to keep a smile when i fail a test.

but i put up one.

i think i felt better that way.

i dont know.

i failed phyics by 1/2 marks.

then, i've got 9/30 for emaths.

i know judging from my past emaths test,

that is counted as, well, good.

but i felt that i could have easily pass that test.

it's just if i have bother to study. sigh.

i feel bad. sigh.

im starting to get depressed over nothing.

RARRs.

i've once planned my future.

it was a bright, simple one.

but it's fading away.

maybe it's really true about what i kept saying:

i dont plan to live so long.

it's time to be more realistic,

if the goal is too, too far away,

drop it, let go.

just live for whatever excuse you can get. sigh.

i dont know what im living for, now.

there is not much of a goal. sigh.

i know im searching for something,

but i dont know what it is?

sigh. SELF SYMPATHY.

who's there for me this time?

nobody.

Read more...

for beloved SAIMUN..

i just read saimun's blog.

he wrote that he and his friends are getting expelled.

i felt down when i read it.

if he didnt, well, do it on purpose,

his teachers should give him a chance to explain.

sigh.

SAIMUN,

I HOPE YOU GET BACK TO YOUR CHEERY SELF.

PLEASE? WHATEVER YOU DO, DONT LOSE FAITH!

REMEMBER, WITH FAITH, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

i'll be right here, just for you.

it's whether you wanna open up to me anymore stuffs or not.

love, ME.

Read more...

i wonder ..

im starting to think that i really think too much.

sigh.

i've always wondered if the universe that we see is just a "glass-globe" toy for aliens.

i wondered if any of my friends were aliens.

then, i wonder if i was an alien.

i wondered if we were alive, or are we living in the world of the dead.

ohh, i wonder if i had brains.

[cause i dont get to see them. it's like, inside..]

i wonder if soft toys had feelings.

then, i wonder if animals were actually aliens.

i wonder what colours i see if im colour blind.

again, i wonder if ghosts were aliens.

then, i wondered again, if we were aliens.

but i want to know what happens when people dies.
and what really happens when people get into coma.

i know i've promised you to not do what i always wanted to;

to get into coma before death.

but i really wanna know.

sigh.

Read more...

life's ..

today, i had a wonderful day.

it started with the normal studyings stuffs.

then recess, we had munchys in the class room.

the shirt desgin was drew on by miss xu xiao zhao.

draw until very nice wor.

*applause*

ohh. tell ya all something.

today, i began to feel that my english has gone way down.

i cant even spell simple words like island and many others.

arghhs.

and i made a fool outta myself trying to spell them.

i gave up and ask akmal instead.

THANK YOU AKMAL!!

i love akmal.

XD

[let's hope he dont get to read this.

if not, he might ignore me for the rest of my life. XD]

we finally had a decent assembly period.

a performance on my beloved, GUITARS.

=DD

it's only that the guitarist cant sing well.

i seriously dont mind him strumming a thousand songs,

as long as he doesnt sing.

XD

hey,

small note: i cried listening to the tong hua.

though i wasnt really listening,

i really bring back the memories.

really.

i remember the first month after we separated.

i cried everytime i hear that song.

you always wrote the lyrics and all.

sigh.

i've cried, cause you are really a nice boy.

keeping you by my side, was wrong.

that's why, i chose to leave.

you get it?

it was not that i dont like you or not like you anymore.

but i should not be selfish.

wo pei bu shang ni.

understand?

after close to one year,

i finally said all this out.

hope it gets to you.

ps. ni zhi dao ni shi sui,

suo yi, wo bu yong shuo na me duo.

thank you, anyway.

thanks for all the wonderful times.

i'll alway spend my birthdays thinking of the one we had together.

thank you.

sigh.

wo bu xiang zhai blogg le.

gotta dry my tears.

love, ME

Read more...

two

continue ..

wahahas.

okays.

this few days, mei you ren entertain wo leh.

*hint hint*

hahas.

this few weeks, we have alot of tests.

i fail my chinese by 3.5 marks. T.T

and good news.

i failed my amaths RE-RETEST!!!!!

hahahas.

HEY, i passed and fail chemistry.

[got alot of test]

passed physics.

passed english. [duh~]

RARRs.

ehhs.

i will have disorganize post.

wait..

when did i ever have an organized post?

wahahahas.

last thursday, KOH HUI TI CHRISTINA tuitored me.

she can just any how make up one question and ask you to do.

like.. so PRO lo..

hahas.

xie xie ni.

=DD

ehhs. just chatt with x.tina, weihan, sai mun and petrina.

so, im here to thank you, my beloved entertainers.

XD

okays.

i think im quite done with this.

so, i might just end here.

ps. i still love christina and haslinda.

[yes! it's you.]

Read more...

one.

HEY!!!

i've got a NEW computer.

and clothes to wear for forbidden city

and the rated six in the world "taiwan choir" performance.

XD

ehhs.

kinda forgot how to blogg..

CHRISTINA KOH HUI TI..

quick quick go do your homeworks.

dont be LAZY ..

XD

ehhs.

been quite stress this few days.

and been having moodswings..

RARRs.

wait. i post this one first.

if not,

MISAKI number one will have another excuse to NOT do her homework.

wahahaas.

Read more...

back yo. =DD

thank god. the laptop hang suddenly.
but my cousin save the post for me.
thanks.
anyways, it goes like this ....


" im watching the replay of superband now. haas.
wells, i still get very high watching it.
lalalas.
ehhs. went to kinokuniya on thursday. the one at liang court.
sister took us there leh.
cause i dont know how to go liang court. >.<
then went past the "one nite stand" shop. XD
i took alot of pictures on that day. hahas.
number one lamer. =DD
ohh. and talking about pictures,
i took my new passport photo le.
mummy says i looked ugly. -.-
guess what was her reason?
she say i look too guai le.
she prefer me having the naughty look. haahas.
dot dot dots.
lalalas.
anyays, back to kinokuniya.
saw jap young kidds.
so cute nehs. lalalas.
dont want to continue on it le.
if not, my sister will say i go crazy about japanese again.


question: i going for cosplay during december. anybody want join me?


my sister will be altering her jacket and stuffs.
i'll be dressed as one of the j-rock band de vocalist. hahas.
learning how to draw his eyeliner.
but before that, i'm learning how to draw normal eyeliner.
cause i never tried drawing them.
it looks so scary to draw stuffs around my eyes.
especially when it's being drawn by myself. hahas.
whatever. im like de-grading myself here. hahas.


anyways, im gonna say thank you to YOU again.
hahas. thanks for "entertaining" me this few days.
it's really nice of you.
blah blah blahs.


going to stop here.
thank you all.


ps. i love hassy and christina. "

Read more...

this is my day.

milubing won.

yeah.

my bill's bursting though.

sigh.

i have been smsing with kenneth.

there's somethings i want to say to him.

thank you for the past few days.

you really brighten up my day alot.

and only now, i realised what kinda person you are.

well, we both know it.

so i dont have to spell out your praises.

hahas.

remember that i'll be right here, okays?

must remember to tell me stuffs that you cant decide on,

cause I WILL HELP YOU.

=DD

and the things you did to help me through,

i'll remember all of them.

=)

ps. xie xie GOR.

love, ME.

hahas.

Read more...

hums.

nothing much is about to happen.

and nothing will.

Read more...